apathy [april 12, 2010]

spring.
it’s spring and everything should be blooming and coming to life, but I feel like I’m dead or dying.

why am I so plagued with ennui?
I feel disconnected and distant from passion and motivation.
I feel like the things I’m currently doing are leading me nowhere. that they’re unproductive.

I want to be excited to wake up again.
I want to be excited for the day again.
I want to be driven again.
Not like, not like I’m fading away.

Maybe it’s because the sun is late is coming and the clouds still cover the sky.
I don’t know.

I want to feel like I can breathe again.
like there’s something I’m reaching for, running towards.

instead of feeling like this, like I’m treading dirt and going nowhere.

~ by missyuri on April 12, 2010.