They’ll Never Remember

One of my favorite things is when one of my friends or whatever calls me at midnight or 3AM or some late hour to go out to Mel’s or to chill or to Safeway or whatever. I don’t know why, I just love the night. I love being out in the night. I love driving around or walking around and buying too much food and going to the 24hr Starbuck’s in Dixon. I just want to be out every night. Doing almost anything.

I get lonely at night, even if I have no one to miss. It’s a strange feeling. But I just…I don’t know. I don’t know what I want or what I’m looking for. Sometimes I feel like I just want everything and nothing all at once. Don’t read this it’s a waste of your time and it doesn’t make sense. And neither do I.

There’s only a handful of people I can spend 24/7 with and never be tired of them and I wish they were with me always. And we wouldn’t always have to interact. It would be enough just to know we were together. I just get lost and sometimes people help me find myself.

Funny thing is, some of my favorite people are people I’ve only met once. Or friends of a friend. And they probably never think of me. Most of them probably don’t even remember me. But I remember them. And I wish I knew them better, but you know how that is. It’s just awkward and I just wish it wasn’t, wish it wasn’t strange to call up a person you barely know or send them a message and just hang out or talk. Because I meet so many interesting and beautiful people in my life that I don’t get a chance to truly know and it kills me.

Know this. For all I do and say, I am at heart far, far too sensitive and full of only Love. I get hurt too easily and trust me I’ll never let you know. I give what I can to who I can when I sense they need it. I trust my feelings and have yet to be wrong. And if you gain my love, I will do so very much for you.

In short, if this was tl;dr, I am a typical teenage girl. I’m just like everyone else right? Yeah I know. But I will fucking kill you if you tell me so. Leave me with my delusions and I’ll leave you with yours.

~ by missyuri on August 22, 2009.